Identity.

The quest for identity is a long brutal journey that every person goes through. In life, everyone is always searching for who they are, and why. The biggest questions asked are “How did I become the way I am?” and “What factors have contributed to my identity?” These simple questions can be the shining light to the hidden mystery of your identity. On this quest of identifying who I was, I have realized that what makes me who I am is rather unique and beautiful. Your identity does not rely on your personality, but rather your personality relies on your identity. Once this is realized you have to look deep within yourself to really understand what sets you apart from everyone else. Through searching deep within myself and within my beliefs I have been able to understand who I am, and what makes up my identity.

My name is Rebekah Marie Bentley, and I am a follower of God’s own heart. I am a beautiful woman who has been fearfully and wonderfully made into his image. Through being His servant, and apostle, I have also been a teacher to the lost. I am a piece of clay that will be broken down and molded by the Potter’s hands into a beautiful piece of pottery that will never shatter. I am nothing but me, a girl who has many flaws, who is never perfect but who is completely and utterly happy with life. Day after day I face challenges with sin and flesh, but somehow find the strength to continue on with my faith. When identifying myself the first thing that always comes to mind is my strong belief in my savior and Lord. My entire life has been focused around God, and about what He wants me to be. Without him, I have no identity, because I’d be nothing. Through my beliefs I’ve had many morals instilled in my life. I believe strongly in my morals, and nothing could ever change those. Abstinence and purity are top of my morals list. I am against sex before marriage, and against doing sexual things before marriage. I have made a pledge before God and man, that I will stay pure until my marriage bed. I believe strongly that sex was made to be beautiful, not made to be given away too just anyone. My heart hurts when I see teenagers give away their most precious gift, and get hurt expecting that it would last forever. If they truly love each other, they will wait. True love waits. Most people believe that Christian’s are closed minded and judgmental. I however, do not believe this is the case. As a strong believer, I am called to love my neighbor and pray for those who persecute me. Christians are called to love unconditionally, and this is what I do. I am the girl who will love you no matter what you have done even if she doesn’t agree with it.

So far my quest for identity has focused solely on my Christian beliefs and morals. This is because I largely classify myself with my spiritual nature over anything else. However, Christianity aspects are not the only things that mold me into the woman I am today. My family structure has also impacted my identity in ways that I am most grateful for. Being a seventeen year old girl with a twenty-six year old brother, a twenty-three year old brother, and a fourteen year old sister with both of her parents still married I have grown to be grateful for my family. In today’s society most families are lacking having at least one parent present. I have been lucky enough to have both of my parents love each other unconditionally. Through my parents loving each other even through the fights, I have grown up in a highly functional family. My mother is very caring and warm, while my father on the other hand is a comedian. These personalities have shaped me into the fun loving, warm person I am today. I have my mother’s heart, and my father’s humor. I am a big family person, and I believe that the family should always be there for you no matter what. When everyone has turned their back on you, your family should always be there backing you up. At least that’s how it’s always worked in my family. My family has always been the core in my life. Our motto has always been “train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn away from it.” (Psalms 22:6)

Life is nothing without best friends to help you through it. Identifying yourself through your experiences with your best friends is one of the most heart warming things I believe can be done. A person’s life is changed constantly by the friends they choose, and by the one’s that choose them. I have been blessed with the very best friends I could ever ask for. My best friends however could be quite a surprise to many people. His name was Christopher Hoffman, and I met him in 6th grade. Nobody ever expected the pure Christian girl, and the proud atheist to become friends, better yet best friends that would last until the present and into the future. But, there was something about him that kept me attached. God uses the strangest people sometimes, and that includes atheists. There have been many occasions where Hoffman has lifted me up spiritually and told me to look to God for the answers when I was down. The reason that I use Hoffman as an example for how friends can alter your identity is because if you look at his identity compared to mine we are completely different people, yet we have found a way to love each other unconditionally. Hoffman has throughout the years forced me to look deep within myself, and he has challenged my beliefs constantly. His challenges have only caused me to dig deeper into the truth that I know, in search for more knowledge. That’s what it’s all about, searching for more answers to the questions of life.

The soul has a tempo and a beat in which it’s constantly listening for. Music is the essence of all things beautiful in life. When things are beautiful, music is always around. Without music, life would be dull. Imagine it. Picture yourself in a movie that had no background music, or in a mall that had no music playing throughout the stores. The world would be dead. Music has always played a key role in my life. When I identify myself, the music that I play shows my deepest emotions. The sound of music is a universal language, and through telling my story with music my identity is no longer a secret. Everyday when I pick up my French horn it’s like a new story is going to be told. A new adventure with new dynamics that will bring chills to your spine. My French horn has become one of my best friends, because it understands me completely. I believe that music is the most beautiful thing ever created. A musician can pick up their instrument and just know everything is going to be okay. I am the musician who pours her heart into her songs. The emotions swell up no matter what I play, even if it’s a simple scale. When I play my instrument, I feel alive and I feel that I belong. Music can impact me even when I am just listening. Sometimes sitting back and listening to the sweet sounds of an orchestra play the melodies of a brilliantly composed piece of music can send you to another world. Music is my way of expressing who I am, and of understanding what the world is trying to say.

Throughout life’s journey I have realized that my identity is composed of what is closest to my heart. My identity is something that can be described as unique because there will never be anyone exactly like me. Everything that I have described can be intertwined together to form something beautiful. Together they form the characteristics of my heart, which forms my identity. I am the girl who lives for the now, but prepares for the future. My heart strives to make a difference in this world, and to be a part of something great. Everyone in this world has a different identity for a reason. My identity focuses on being a servant that has been broken down and built back up for the will of God, the foundations of a strong family, the impacts of my best friends, and the sounds of music that help me release everything that’s built up inside. The quest for identity once completed helps you realize a lot about yourself. For me, I realized I was more then just a talkative, hyper seventeen year old but rather I had experiences that were dear to my heart and have molded me into the Rebekah Bentley that is known today.