The Rain

You know, there is something special about the rain. Something that I really can't find the words to describe the beauty of. You won't be able to understand what I am talking about until you feel the power of the rain for yourself. The rain takes away the old, as it brings the new. The drops fall in a certain pattern, and land in the exact place they are designed to fall. Without the rain there would be no beginning. Nothing new would be able to form, and all nature would slowly fade. When the rain falls, there is always going to be that girl who is standing in her street dancing through the storm. In the moment--that girl is me. As I stand in the midst of natures greatest gift, I feel the sorrows of yesterday being washed away and joy being brought into my heart. The rain slowly touches my silky cheek but with time it turns into a violent storm. The lightning strikes, and the thunder crashes and I can't help but stand in the middle of this dark scene. I twirl in the wind, and the dark sky becomes eerie to all who look upon it. However, the rain, which is now strong and mighty calms my heart. In the rain I am strong, and in the rain I am alive. It is through the rain I can breathe, and through the rain I can dance. I thank God for the gift of rain. It is through the feeling of rain, I have been able to conquer life's greatest trials. I can't describe the feeling, but that is the beauty of the experience.

So, i'm in kids church and in the skit today my character who is a karate master, (chuckina foo) wore Robotic Pants. She was angry because she bought it off ebay but the mail place mixed it up and instead of sending her the Kick Master 5000 sent her the Dancin' Machine 2.0. They made my character dance like crazy when I heard music. At one point they were playing music and I was screaming NOOO NOT AGAIN MAKE IT STOPPP. And I fell on the floor and hit the boys glass buddy barrell thing. My toe hurts sooo bad. But i got back up and was saying how I was supposed to be Jackie Chan not a Jonas Brother. Then I told everyone how once I was at a store and I started dancing to the jingles and this guy stopped me and asked me if I ever heard of the show "So You Think You Can Dance" and he told me I should try out for it....and I'd use the fame and money to give to missionaries so they can tell others about Jesus....yeah amazing skit

Lord, Why Me?

Have you ever wondered why me? This question constantly has been circulating my mind the last few weeks. I have constantly found myself in a place where I get on my hands and knees and scream out to God asking him why. Why do I have to be so strong, when inside I feel so weak? Why do I have to be the one to be so sure about everything, when nothing is ever sure? Why am I the one who gets hurt? Why do I have to always put on a smile? Why Lord, why me? I believe the answer to this question, can be answered through the question, Lord why not me? I believe I am blessed in my life, and I believe God has given me a wonderful gift. Everyday I question why, but instead I should be giving Him praise. I should praise His name for my strength, I should praise His name for sharing my future with me even when others may not know it, I should praise Him for the pain that I feel because although it tairs me down it teaches me and molds me and allows me to be stronger, I should praise Him for allowing me to always smile even through the storms. I have neglected praise, and instead have only questioned. When I know that God will be my shelter, when He will be my provider, my shoulder, and my answer why do I persist to fight Him? I believe it's out of fear. I believe that I have lived in fear my whole life, and I have let it take over my life. I will tell you the truth. I am scared of the future. I am so afraid that I will be a screw up in life. But I refuse to be another statistic. I refuse to let fear destroy me, and allow myself to fall into temptation. 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man, and God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted He will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

I pray everyday that God will help me throughout life and allow me to see myself for who I am. For those of you who really know me, you know I suffer with low self esteem. I have suffered from that my whole life, and it's not only my downfall, but it's a daily struggle, it's a deception from the King of Deception himself, Satan. Although I know it's an attack from the Devil, I have yet to figure out how to conquor it. All my friends offer words of encouragement, but I push it away and tend to think they are lying to me because they are my friends. I know it's not the truth, I know that God has made me beautiful. Psalms 139:13-14 "For You created me in my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." However, although I know the truth the problem is seeing the truth. My biggest battle is with Satan, and I let him win. But now, I refuse to let him win anymore. Why let Satan win, when I have Jesus on my side? It seems sort of ridiculous to me. From this day forward I make it my priority when attacked with words of destruction to turn them into words of life. Jesus spoke life, and we are called to live a life after Christ.

I don't know where this entire epiphany came from. It could be from the pain I am feeling inside, or it could simply be from God the Father Himself. I am choosing to go with it's from God. I praise His name for opening my eyes and allowing me to see the destruction and the death I am causing myself. I will praise Him through the storms, I will praise Him through the battles. Forever will I praise Him. I feel that a massive burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel stronger, and I feel ready to take on Satan. Whom shall I fear?