It's the way that he makes you cry.

Every day I have been going through different phases with this letting go of John thing. This is the titles for the days.

Day One- Extreme Emptiness Day (I missed him more then ever, and I just wanted to text him, I felt so alone and felt like a part of me had died.)
Day Two- Desire to Live A Dream Day (That night I had a dream about him, I ran after him because I wanted to talk to him, but it never happened..)
Day Three- Everywhere You Look Day (Everywhere I looked I saw him. Everything reminded me of him. This kid was talking about how he only dreamed of dinosaurs in psychology class, and of course John works at Jurassic Park, and so he came to my mind for a long time.)
Day Four- The Quiz Day (At first I had a dream that night that John texted me telling me he missed me, and loved me and that he wanted to be with me because he missed me. Then my friend sends me a quizzer quiz on myspace about what is the name of your next boyfriend? So, I take it. Out of 30 possible guy names there was, my results showed up with John. It bothered me all day)
Day Five- How I Just Want To Hug You Day ( Yeah, so I get home from church after having a flat tire and having to get AAA to come put our spare on, and I go on facebook. I guess I signed on at the worst time because I see Johns status change. He said he was blah, and didn't wanna talk about it with anyone. I had to hold back commenting his status back telling him not to be blah, and to talk about it with me because I would always be there for him. I wanted to hug him and tell him it was okay. I don't know whats wrong, and that always bothers me. A part of me wonders if its about me and if he misses me or something, but i'll never know. So I made Jannah comment his status, but he won't tell her anything.)

I think everyday I will name my battles and my struggles in a blog. I will just edit this one everyday with a new battle that has appeared trying to make me text or call him. I won't do it. I will be strong. I need it for myself. Once this blog like is no longer on the current page i'll start a new one. For the current "new" battle I will bold it.