Where My Passions Have Went.

I really need to write, to get my thoughts out. But nothing is coming. Don't you hate that when you sit for hours at your computer hoping something will come that sounds good enough, that is worth writing, and worth the reader actually taking time out of their busy schedule to sit down and read? That's the rut I am currently in.

I love writing, and it's a passion of mine that I no longer do as much as I'd like. Writing and music have always been the two ways I express myself, and when you no longer do either of those you feel dead. In high school I was in band, and that kept me mentally sane because I could express myself in ways my writing couldn't. When I wasn't writing, I was playing music, and when I wasn't playing music I was writing. These two passions of mine have kept me stable.

I wish I had the words to express how writing, and how music makes me feel. It's always been my anti-drug. I think the reason my world is so confusing right now, and why everything has been spazzing out on me is because I don't take the time to write, and because I'm not in the band program. I can't change the band program issue right now, but I could still play my french horn every time I went back home, which I desperately need to do. I miss it, it's my heartbeat. I however can change the fact I don't write. I used to write all the time, whether it was in this blog, in my common place book, on my phone or on random papers that got thrown away..I still wrote. I need to write again, poetry, stories, blogs, my feelings, what God's been speaking to me, whatever it is, I need to write it out.

I'm at the beginning of a new chapter in my life, one that involves me becoming more mature, and becoming what God has planned for me to be. In this chapter I will grow, but in this chapter I refuse to let go of music and writing. It's through these two passions that I am who I am. So I will try- I will try with my best efforts to write, and to play my heart out.