Dreams.

I didn't go to school today because I felt really sick. I've been feeling sick all week and forcing myself to go to school but today I couldn't do it, I stayed home and slept. So, as I slept more I began to dream. I had the weirdest sets of dreams ever.

They involved the papa johns guy from altamonte, and the starbucks guy. It was quite weird. I was sitting on my moms car while she was driving like a mad woman and we passed the starbucks guy and he was like Hi? Then he was like I work again in 14 hours just so you like...know. LOL! I laughed, really hard. Then with the altamonte guy, I don't really remember that dream much, except I left the store and he followed me to talk to me or something? WEIRD DREAMS! These guys are OLD! BAHHH!!! lol.

Okay, enough. I need to feel better. I also have to write a 1500 word essay on my identity for english class, so I should start that. 1500 words is a lot, but it's on myself, I know myself lol. He said it'd be harder then we thought but I think for me it should be easy. I can explain who I am, and how I came to be who I am in words pretty easily. I mean my identity focuses mostly on my morals, and spiritual beliefs so I could write 39742340858 words on that. xD. Well, i'm gonna go write about myself now.

I'll post it here when i'm done. It'll just be the rough draft because that's all that's due tomorrow.

Sweet dreams that won't come true.

A few nights ago I was on the phone with Erica and John till sometime past one. I'm not gonna say what he was texting me the entire time, but basically he's "walked in my shoes" and he knows how I feel now. He's been depressed lately, and 99% of me hates the fact he's hurting but theres always the 1% who's saying that atleast now he can understand the pain that i've been experiencimg.

Enough about his depression, and about "what I want the most, and what i'll never have." He's been going through not only emotional stuff due to Erica, but also his family has been stressing him out. He really needs to understand his mother more. He feels like she's suffocating him, but I love Ms.Sanderson. John just needs to pray and do what God wants him to do.

Oh, so during school today I called John. Yes, during class. My teacher never found out, and it was amazing. But, he sang Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional randomly to me. I love listening to him sing.


Vindicated ~ Dashboard Confessional
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye

And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated

[Chorus]
I am vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that

So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment fall forever
Defense is paper thinJust one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away

[Chorus]
Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption

Starbucks.

Starbucks makes my world go weeee. Sometimes I love going to work. Especially days like today. I get to work pretty sad at the fact that my favorite manager just basically quit. Why does my favorite managers always quit? First Roberto who I completly adored, and then Keith who I made a cake for when he left, and now Johnny, except Johnny never said bye to me. It makes me really sad that I didn't get to hug him bye. The last time I saw Johnny he had a black eye lol, and he winked at me when he pulled into the parking lot because he hadn't seen me in over a month. I havn't even seen Johnny much because of marching band, so i'm really mad. He better stop by sometime to hug me bye or i'm gonna be really upset. I called his number but I don't think he has a phone anymore. Yeah, I really loved Johnny, and he always told me he missed me because I couldn't work much because of band. I remember he told me that I was the only one who never complained and that's why he loved me so much. Yeah...it's gonna suck without him. He made me feel loved at work.

So, that's how my day started. Actually, at first I thought I was fired because my name wasn't on the insiders list, but I found out it was a glitch and Nick forgot to scheduale me. But, I get to work and see Samantha which made me happy because I havn't seen her in ages. About an hour into work, my favorite starbucks guy Clint comes in to order a pizza. USUALLY he just gets a sprite so I was pretty surprised when he got pizza. Actually, the moment he walked in I was pretty surprised because I havn't seen him in months, I actually thought he got a new job lol. So, I was talking to him and told him how I hadn't seen him in ages and he's like "i'm always right there..." *points towards starbucks*, which might be the problem because i'm NEVER at work anymore. So, later he comes back in and asks all of us if we want anything to drink. I say a moca frappochino, and he goes "caramel?". LOL! I was like...what?! So he was like..."you'll see i'll make you something". About 30 minutes later he comes back with my frappochino and whatever Samantha ordered, and he walked away. OMG! He made me a moca caramel frappochino and it was AMAZING. It was the largest one too...which is what? Grande? LOL. Or is it tall? I don't remember. But yeah, whenever he came to pick up his pizza he asks me if I liked what he made me and I spazzed at him saying how I loved it and he told me what it was. He was like "the sweeter the better I figure" LOL! He is such a dork. Anyways, he really made my day. He was like, "yeah i'll be working tomorrow so"...lol. Which made me smile because like I'm not working but i'd totally go see him to get free starbucks, but I probably won't lol. Yay for free starbucks. :] Samantha *not the one I work with but Clark* doesn't think Clint is that cute, but I think he's adorable. He's gotten A LOT cuter since the last time I saw him too. His hair is longer, and I think he has different glasses. Less nerdy looking lol. He's too old though, which makes me sad. Oh well. I still heart him. Even though Samantha thinks I have bad taste xD. <3>

Really though, it's amazing how one single person can completly change your day. I was pretty blah at the beginning of work because no Johnny and like Jared was there, but after that I became really happy. I started laughing and had the FUNNIEST conversations with Nick. He was talking about youtube and I was like OHMYGOSH I"M ON YOUTUBE!! LOL! I tried to explain it, and he was like...no...just...stop. It was amazing. Then I tried to explain to him why Jesus/Batman should be President and Vice President and the 12 disciples would be the cabinet members, and he called me psycho. Then like I told him how sugar cookies were sin, and he asked me why but I never got to explain it because the phone kept ringing...it was sad. Oh, and Clint gave me a $2 tip btw. We gave him his pizza half off, and he gives us free starbucks and he STILL tips me.

Yeah, today was funny. I'm hyper if you can't tell...starbucks makes you bouncy. lol. Josh drank some of mine, and he laughed at me when I got home when I told him my story of how I got it. Haha. I love knowing people who work places and will give you free things. :D

Do not speak evil about the ruler of your people..

Yes, I am a Mccain supporter, but as a nation we all need to realized that Obama won. I'm tired of the United States being about red and blue. I actually hate political parties, everyone should just vote for the best candidate. Okay, now even though I do not like Obama at all and believe he is going to destroy our country, I believe we all need to pray for him. Don't speak evil about him, but stand by him and pray.

That's my rant for the day.

I think bout your eyes all the time.

Yesterday was completly amazing. I pretty much had a fiesta at my house with my favorite people in the whole wide world. Really, it was like a massive collection of my best friends and there was only a few people missing from it. Like, Hoffman. Samantha was really sad, and i'm glad that she was able to come over to see Sam and Erica. Even though we didn't get to talk much. We talked through texting. But, I think she really needed to see Sam. He makes her smile :]. Heck, he makes me smile. I love that boy. He made all of us laugh soo much. He has this new..."i'm into myself" thing going on, and although it's really annoying it's soo funny at the same time. He needs to not love himself so much...LOL. Which I never thought i'd have to say about someone. Oh, well. He's still my Sam and I love him to pieces.

So, basically Brandon brought me home yesterday from school and he was staying over because Erica was gonna be there. Which, she got to my house before I got there. I get outside and Erica runs up to us and gives me a big hug, and I walk into my house and Samuel Joseph Foarde is sitting there on the coach I scream really loud and run to my room like a dork and put down my bookbag and then come out and jump on him. I did not expect to see him. I missed that boy soo much. This made me day. Later Samantha comes over, and even later so does John. It was perfect. We watched blood brothers. Samuel was amazing, and he made us giggle.

Erica and Brandon were really cute, I think they should date. Sam agrees with me. Does anyone else agree? She looked really happy last night. It made me smile. I stole Johns hat. He was mad. I now have a bruise on my foot from running with no shoes on when he chased me.

After everyone left but John and Brandon we sat outside and talked like british people for like 30 minutes. It was amazing. Haha, everytime John said bloody...I think I almost died. Also, Brandon and John realized they really do like each other. It's weird they've met twice. Before they met they didn't like each other then they did, and after they met they didn't and now they remet and they like each other again. It makes me laugh. But after Brandon left me and John had a big conversation. It was really emotional. It involved the stars, and wanting to disappear. He makes me really sad sometimes. I don't want him to disappear. He was really emotional last night, and we both cried. He called me by my full name once...because I turned my back and was looking at the sky and crying. It was like a perfect movie scene lol. Really, sometimes me and him act way to much like we are married.

Also, yes Sam I know I flirted with him like crazy. I'm sorry. I can't help it....=/. I know...i'm flirty mcflirt flirt.

ALSO!! ARCHIBALD...LOL! Yeah...lol <3

Oh except, John came over my house this morning to get the sunglasses he left at my house. So, I got to wake up this morning and see him. Haha, yay for starting my morning with seeing him. :]

Okay, bye. School!

Band makes me happy. It really really does. :] Today during church I almost fell asleep, because I was so tired. But I was closing my eyes listening to the sermon and everytime my pastor would say a main word my mind would form images of a marching band forming that image. For instance, he said the word heart and I pictured a marching band forming a heart. It made me giggle. I'm beginning to realize more and more that being apart of band is my world. I love it so very much.

The Great Race

I love marching band. It's one of my all time favorite things in the whole world. Today I performed at my last MPA show ever. There's something about being a senior that really gets to you during these shows. I remember my first show. It was at Ocoee High School and our theme was Themes from Oz. The adrenaline pouring as I set up in the O formation, and as I looked around at all the Orange County bands looking down upon me. I remember my friends Christopher Hoffman, and Christopher Palombini from the Apopka band were pointing down at me from the stands, and waving to try and get my attention. As soon as I smiled they knew I had seen them, but I couldn't move. I stood there waiting for the show to begin. At last it began. We were a brand new school and everyone expected us to be less then what we were, but together as a team we had put our hearts and souls into that show. I remember how it felt to play infront of that audience for the first time, and how at first I felt so nervous but as the show went on every nerve left my body. Slowly the horns came down to attention after the last note was played in The Finale, and we marched off that Citrus Bowl field with pride because we knew that we were the Ocoee Knights, and no one could ever take that name from us. I remember that show so vividly and so clearly because it ment something to me. Although we may not have made a superior, we knew that show had been the best one we had ever performed, and we knew it wasn't about the grade but about how we felt. That's how it was for me at Ocoee both years. I came off that field after performing and felt like I was on top of the world. I remember after my sophomore show, Evolution of American Music, Hendricks was talking to the band about how this was the seniors last MPA, and he got really emotional. I ended up crying remembering that I was like a senior because it was my last MPA with that school. Ocoee gave me so many memories including Texas with the Cotton Bowl, and I will never forget them. I still love that school with all my heart, and a big part of me will always be a Knight.

Now, starting a new school my Freshman year wasn't too difficult for me considering I was a Freshman and I didn't know how a band was supposed to function. But, then I was transferred over to the new school Wekiva where my assistant band director from Ocoee took over as head director. Starting a new school where a majority of the people hate that they were forced to leave their old schools is really hard, but we've formed into a family. We all still have pride in our old schools, but I think after our first MPA performance together last year we realized that we were Mustangs. I remember Portraits of Adventure, and the many headaches I derived from that show. I remember the countless hours spent trying to just FINISH the show before assesment. Everything was really stressful, but somehow we got everything done. So, the time came to show everyone who we were, and what we were made of. We marched into that stadium with everything we had, and as I looked up I saw Ocoee sitting there watching us. Seeing Ocoee made me want to look my best to show them that I ment business. I remember playing my heart out, and before I knew it the show was over. That was it. Everyone stood up and applauded us as we marched out but we didn't see it. I remember circling around Lamos and him almost crying, and we all had such pride. Finally, we stopped being Knights, and Darters and for once we were Mustangs. Needless to say we got a superior and it was the best feeling ever.

Now, it comes to this year. We have come so far to make this show the best it possibly can be. Our show is The Great Race and we've worked harder than i've ever worked on a show before, and the results have paid off. Wekiva is on its way to FMBC States November 22nd and there we will be facing the best bands in florida. This year we have received first place at the Timbercreek competition in division 2a and 2nd at the University Classic. MPA felt like just another performance at first, but as the day went on I remembered just how much MPA has always ment to me. We got on that field and it started to lightly rain. The announcer asked Lamos to take us off the field untill it stopped but he shook his head no because he wanted us to perform then. The crowd started going wild, and we all had adrenaline surging through our bodies. So we performed our show as it lightly rained. It felt good, yes we still have our slight timing tear but wow it was the best show I believe we have ever done. As a senior the best feeling you can have is of great accomplishment and pride in your band and as we circled around Lamos that is what I felt. We got straight superiors and that's how I will end my Marching assements in high school.

Needless to say, I love performing in front of people. It is one of the best feelings you can have. I love the feeling of hundreds of people watching you, with your heart racing, your feet moving, and your mind focused on great sound, great looks and having fun. This is why I think I need to do band in college. I love it to much to ever give up on it. Nothing could ever replace the feeling that marching band had given me at both Ocoee and Wekiva High School.

"Life itself is a race, marked by a start, and a finish. It is what we learn during the race, and how we apply it, that determines whether our participation has had particular value. If we learn from each success and each failure, and improve ourselves though this process, then, at the end, we will have fulfilled our potential and performed well." -Anonymous-